the past few months have been really strange on me. i do not know since when, but i've realized for a few weeks now - my temper is back. actually, it's not just my temper. me ego's back for a visit as well. it's all the negative emotions that has been lingering around during my high school days. all the anger and hatred welled up in me. all the sadness and disappointments and frustrations. it's everything dark and more.
the weird part? i can't decide if it's good or bad. you see... i've been trying to change myself, to be a new person when i started life in uniten. so i started to change. trying to be someone i'm not. it succeeded, definitely... no more temper, no more depression. but with that, i've also lost a part of myself. i've lost touch with the person i am, my identity.
i know it might sound silly to some of you, but by changing myself, i've lost the drive to push myself to the limits. i've abandoned everything that meant something to me.
i'm confused. just when i thought i've managed to blend in, to make ppl around me comfortable... just when i thought i've fulfilled the expectations certain ppl have on me... i lose myself...
1 comment:
sound like you can use the song "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. :)
we all still trying to discover who we are in this world. I guess our conversation yesterday sort of hinted on that as well aye.
same goes with mr livingmonolith.
life goes on nevertheless....take care
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